Go Take a Walk Outside: Outside Looking In

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Photo Source: pinterest.com

We often find ourselves in a place where we cannot seem to figure out what to do in a certain situation. We consult with friends, family, co-workers, teachers, therapists, and sometimes complete strangers! All of this is done to gain insight to make a decision that we simply cannot make on our own. When our backs are against the wall everything moves quickly. The room spins.  We see what is in front of us and what is in our peripherals. This is why we are unable to calm down, think, and come up with a solution.

Are you tired of saying, Why didn’t I think of that? Well that makes sense! Oh,  I see!, along with any number of Ah ha!  phrases everytime a member of your support team solves all of your problems?  If you are, then read on.  This just might help you out the next time your back is against the wall.

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Photo Source: wroteabookaboutit.com

The difference between you and your support team during a difficult situation is location. Your placement during tough times is right there in the trenches. While others are viewing your situation from the outside. It is a lot easier to solve a problem when you are able to see every aspect of the situation. We can all tell the lady in the scary movies to avoid going up the stairs. We can all tell our friends to avoid a certain resturant because of poor service. We can all warn our co-workers of the traffic on the way to work.  Why is this possible? Simple. Because we have already been there. Also, because we are now on the outside looking in. 

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Photo Source: earthporm.com

It is now time for you to take a walk outside. Take a walk outside and see what everyone else sees.  Meaning, remove yourself from the situation and look at what is really going on around you. You have to get a better view, a better idea of what is really happening in your life.  If you are constantly coping with the stresses of life, and never stop to take inventory of your life. You will never be able to figure out what is really going on.

Let’s just say you are having financial problems.  I’m sure anyone who is on the outside will be able to solve your money woes quickly! Why?  Because they are not tied to your lifestyle. They don’t need that pricey car. They don’t need all of the channels the cable provider is willing to shove down your throat. Those on the outside recognize reality over “necessity”. It’s also easier to recognize error when one has made and corrected those same behaviors.

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Photo Source: cnn.com

It’s time to let go of your stress and go take a walk outside! It is time to view your life the way other’s may view it. It is time to slow down and observe from the outside and realize what is really unfolding in your life!

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Life Outside the Box

It truly amazes me how people differ so greatly. You have people (who why I don’t understand for the life of me) who are energized by being surrounded by people, extroverts.  Then, you have people who are drained from too much social interacting (that would be me), introverts.  Two sets of people who roam the same planet and manage to thrive together. How do we do it? 

I don’t know how we do it,  but simply trying to grasp the concept of the group one doesn’t fit in, is a challenge in itself. I don’t know why anyone would want to be surrounded by strangers at a party. People are just randomly striking up conversations with people who they just met in that moment. Didn’t our parents teach us not to talk to strangers?!?!
That whole strangers at a party scenario is something that puts an intense amount of anxiety in me.

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Photo Credit: youtube.com

Extroverts love being around others. They appreciate social interactions. It is so easy for them to strike up a conversation with a stranger and turn that stranger into a BFF.  They can not fathom the idea of not going to a party. Or,  not speaking to people they don’t know. On the other hand introverts like myself, would prefer to hang out with close friends. Honestly, I would prefer the company of an animal. They are so much easier to be around!

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Photo Credit: tjoonz.com

Introvert or extrovert, in the end it’s ok to be either. We might not understand each other, but oddly enough we roam the same planet and manage to thrive together.

K. A. Smith

To Understand the Internal

If I had one wish, what would it be? I would probably wish for more wishes. There is never enough time. There is never enough money. There is always too much weight. There is always too much stress. Is there a balance in this life? I am certainly trying to find it.  Never being good enough. Never succeeding. What is the goal? What is the purpose? Better days have to come. Changes have to be made. Happiness is not the goal. Contentment is where it is.  Accepting would also suffice.

Neat and beautiful little packages that are wrapped with bows are surrounding this unattractive package. This unattractive package that is out of shape and unappealing to the eyes just wants to be an attractive beautiful little package. No one gets it.  No one understands. No one sees a difference in the group of packages. But for that package everything is different, and everything is wrong.

K. A. Smith

Invisibly Ill

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Photo Credit: blog.pennlive.com

As you walk into the Emergency Room, you notice a man coughing. He is coughing so hard you just know he will hack up his lungs any minute now.

To your left are some kids. One has a bag of ice wrapped in a towel over her right eye. The older boy, who appers to be her older brother has a golf ball sized knot over his left eye. 

Amongst the sea of ER waiting room people, there is no denying why they are present. But you walk in and check yourself in.  You have a seat and immediately you feel out of place.

There are dozens of people who have been waiting for hours before you even set foot into the building. However, you are the next name called into the triage room. The waiting area erupts with anger and profanity.

Why is SHE going before ME?! 
WTF?!, I’ve been here for HOURS!!
I  simply don’t understand.

The chatter continues as you close the triage room door and sit in the cold hard blue chair against the wall. You confirm your name and date of birth. The nurse asks for the reason of your visit to the Emergency Room, and you respond…

“I just want the pain to end.  I am tired of being depressed. I have a full bottle of pain pills in my purse and I debated with myself for the past two hours if I should take them all or go to the ER.  Well,  here I am.”

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Photo Credit: blogoftheboss.com

There are plenty of people who are depressed all across the world. The pain they feel may never be known to others, but it is real. Some depressed people look and act as if nothing is wrong when mixing and mingling amongst society, but behind closed doors the tears stream down their faces. Their homes may be neglected. They may over eat or not eat at all.  There may be sleepless nights or binge sleeping every weekend.

It’s not socially acceptable to fall apart in front of your peers, co workers, or strangers. You are supposed to “keep it together” and “not let your personal life blend in with your work/school life.” This has brought a great deal of people to a place of having to cope alone.

Many people with a depressive illness never seek treatment. But the majority, even those with the most severe depression, can get better with treatment. Medications, psychotherapies, and other methods can effectively treat people with depression.

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

No one should have to remain “invisibly ill.” Take the necessary measures to help someone who you know is depressed.  If anyone ever asks you if you have a second, they just want to talk…DROP EVERYTHING AND LISTEN!! If that’s not possible get a general idea of what’s going on and maybe you could schedule some time to listen later.

Most of the time people just need someone to listen to their story. That is the best way to help, and get the ball rolling to recovery. If you do not feel you can help, let them know you are there for them and you will help them get through the depression.  You can help them search for counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, and support groups. If they need you for support and to accompany them to appointments, do so. That would help greatly.

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Photo Credit: climate.gov

It might be  a long road…but having someone concerned about your mental health can make the journey better.

Here are some tips from the National Institute of Mental (NIMH) and a link to the NIMH website…

To help your friend or relative

•Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.

•Talk to him or her, and listen carefully.

•Never dismiss feelings, but point out realities and offer hope.

•Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your loved one’s therapist or doctor.

•Invite your loved one out for walks, outings and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don’t push him or her to take on too much too soon.

•Provide assistance in getting to the doctor’s appointments.

•Remind your loved one that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.

National Institute of Mental Health Website

**Disclaimer: I am not doctor or any other healthcare professional. I am simply a blogger who is greatly concerned for the mental health of others. If you or someone you know is depressed follow the links to the National Institute of Mental Health for more information on depression.**

K. A. Smith

K. A. Smith

Go F— Yourself! Yes, Go Find Yourself!

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Picture Source:  instacomedy.com

I know certain fashion, makeup, hair, and other trends are sweeping the nation. That’s a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s good, because that means people are forgetting about some other disturbing trend that once was “the in thing.” It’s bad because it just means more carbon copies. I am not against the latest and greatest, but what does annoy me is seeing you and your stunt doubles throughout my day.  Usually seeing you once is more than enough. Believe me, your floor length hair, Snuffleupagus eyelashes, Sharpie drawn eyebrows, color by number make up, and outfits with overkill matching accessories were enough the first time. I don’t need to see it again on ANYONE else EVER!! This is why I say go f— yourself!  Yes, go FIND yourself!  Minds out the gutter people. I know fashion may be something you love and can’t live without, but please try making it your own look. You do not have to look like the end result of any given Youtube makeup or hair tutorial. How can you stand out, how can you compete, how can you expect to be treated as an individual when you look like the majority of your competition?  It’s time to figure out who you really want to be, and not who you think everyone wants to be.

This is just my opinion. If you don’t like it…go f— yourself!  Find, find find!!

K. A. Smith

And The Oscar Goes To…YOU!

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Most people have a general idea of who they are. We know if we will fit in with the crowd, or if we will be a wallflower. We know if we are leaders, or if we should be led. We even know if we eat certain foods or not. Each of these characteristics of self are excellent identifiers of who we are, and how we will go about our day to day lives.

This would be great information, if it didn’t pertain to people and life!  Both are extremely unpredictable, and there are always exceptions. Especially when “life” happens to people. You shouldn’t be surprised by any outcome of that combination. This is when we deviate from the well known path we are so familiar and comfortable with. We act out of character, our actions are questioned, our thoughts and ideas challenged, who are we?!  I’ll tell you exactly who we are…we are actors.

Each of us have broken character on several occasions during our lives. Have you ever been asked, “What’s wrong with you? You are not yourself today.” Or one of my personal faves, “What are you smoking?” The latter is usually when a person says something that baffles another, simply because they expect you to remain the same day in and day out. Well, NEWSFLASH people, we are all actors!  Including you, yeah you, the one who is reading this. Who is saying, “I don’t ever change!”

Here are just a few examples of why each of us deserve an Oscar:

You had a girl’s night last night, and you aren’t in the least way presentably (or capable) to go to work today. You cannot call your boss, and explain the hungover, oblivious state you are currently in. So, you call your boss and explain how you are too sick to come in to work. You cough, you sniffle, you even get in your best,  I think I am about to whither away and die voice, and you put on the performance you hope will win you the chance to be employed another day!

Or maybe, you run arcoss an unusually attractive girl while you are studying at the library early one morning.  You’ve never seen her there before, and it may be your last time seeing her. You decide to go over to her table and see if your charm and wit will give you a chance with the mysterious and captivating patron. As you get closer, you see she has books spread across the table. One of those books titled, Health & Fitness. You know good and well you don’t work out, however you still proceed. Through breif conversation you learn she is an avid gym goer, and lives a strictly healthy and active life. Knowing you are as lazy as a fat cat, and will eat more candy than a kid on Halloween, you tell this health fanatic you too are into living a healthy lifestyle. You win the chance to take her out. Now, you make up stories based on movies you saw long ago (while you snacked of course). You eat little to nothing on dates. You even end each day soaking your pain away from the excessive hours you put in at the gym. You have officially won a chance to get to know more about the mysterious, captivating patron.

These are just  a couple of instances of how quickly we can change what we thought were defining characteristics of ourselves.  We do this often, and usually nothing is wrong with it. I just find it funny that we are all great actors if the occasion were to arise.  Keep being who you are, change a little, and keep your acceptance speeches short!

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K. A. Smith

Weighing In On Weight Loss: Comparing

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As I sit here in the lobby of a local oil change & car wash place, the TV on Fox News, Hobby Lobby is the topic of discussion. A few guys,  probably in their 40s,  sit to my right engaging in an in depth conversation about helicopters. There is some chatter in the distance I can’t quite make out.  My mind, however is focused on weight loss. I watch these men with their beer bellies, and less than desirable figures, comfortably walk, talk and move about. I see more protruding midsections here than in a maternity store!  Wow!  Do men just not care about their weight like women do?  Do men just not make as big of a deal about it?  I am not sure, but if they’re happy, who am I to say anything? 

As a woman,  it is a daily struggle with skinny pants, short shorts, and extra fitted shirts.  If a woman wears “comfortable” fitting clothes then she is letting herself go. If she puts on the latest fashions that her body is not quite ready for then, “she shouldn’t be wearing that.” The images of what we should look like are everywhere. Constant reminders that we aren’t what we should be.  In my opinion, if we are able to block out the perceived “perfections”, we might be able to reach our weight loss goals. 

Constantly comparing our bodies to the next woman can be good and bad.  For some, comparisons are fuel and motivation to stay on the journey for a better body. For others, it can cause setbacks. Some women see the ideal body, compare, and see how far they have to go. This causes them to feel as if they will never reach that size, and give up. In this case, it is time to quit comparing. Use clothes or numbers as your ONLY motivation. For example, if you are a size 16, buy something in a 14 or a 12,and let that be your only goal. Other alternatives to body comparisons are: setting weight goals, measurement goals, cholesterol levels goals, blood pressure numbers goals, blood sugar levels goals, etc… These are just some tips from a woman who is in the process of losing weight.

Women might have more interest in their weight than men, but maybe taking a page from their books might be the key to successful weight loss. Comparing bodies should only be done if you are mentally capable of using this as motivation. If comparing makes you want to give up, do as some men do, don’t even worry about the next person!  Live your life for you, make gradual changes, and you are your ONLY competition! 

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