No Rhythm No Rhyme: Visual

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Truth In Disguise: Visual

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Goodbye

Photo Credit

The bottle had been unexpectedly opened and it was right there, the pill she had prescribed to herself.

Doubt quickly consumed her.

Unable to turn back, she learned the pill was harder to swallow than originally expected.

A playlist of emotions linked to memories was the soundtrack that instantly flooded her thoughts.

Anxiety struck as her chest tightened. Sadness loomed as the tears stung and welled up in her eyes.

Too pained to push the tears out, she blinked them free as they dampened her numb cheeks.

Expiration was imminent as the stabbing sensation in her lungs interrupted her breathing. She gasped through the tears and the pain deeply regretting her decision.

But the playlist of emotions linked to memories came to an end on a broken and weak goodbye.

Blank Page

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Photo Credit: http://fractalenlightenment.com/33810/spirituality/silence-the-journey-within

I have no words just a blank page.
I’m dealing with years of guilt, pain, confusion and rage.
I no longer know what to do, what to say, at this point…at this stage.
I feel so alone, and trapped,like a bird in a cage. 
I long for strength, peace, love, and courage.
Yet,  I am frightened, depleted, and broken on this stage.
I have many thoughts, however I feel discouraged.
Because I still have no words…just this blank page.

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Photo Credit: http://soloperformancerebeccakelleher.blogs.lincoln.ac.uk/files/2013/01/IMG_9573.jpg

K. A. Smith

<a href="Blank“>DailyPrompt

Working it All Out- Career Confusion

Why does picking a career have to be such a daunting task? I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. I know my strengths, weaknesses, and capabilities. I know where I excel and I know where I crash and burn. I know other people’s opinions on my talents and gifts.  The one thing I DON’T know is how the hell to put all of this together to form a career goal!

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Photo Credit: npr.com

I’ve taken career assessments, talked to people, sorted my likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, consulted with The Bible, played trial and error for 16 years with job after job after job,  and still unfulfilled. What do I really want to spend the rest of my life doing?  I love reading, writing, math, science, research, spotting and correcting errors (Don’t judge me if I don’t spot or correct any errors contained within this post. It is 4am and my brain hasn’t gotten much rest), delegating, organizing, and maintaining information.
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Photo Credit: livebinders.com

Now, for the negatives. I don’t like working directly with clients, customers, patients, consumers, and whatever other names people who are in need of a product or service go by these days. I would prefer to be behind the scenes helping people. I don’t like working with people. Solitude makes my day…co-workers not necessarily. I prefer to get my work done and move on to the next task! 

The biggest negative is fear.  Fear that I will invest time and money into a degree that isn’t relevant to what I really WANT to do.  Most career matches I’ve come across look good on paper, but I don’t really see myself enjoying the work or work environment. I also don’t feel a great deal of excitement to begin a number of the selected careers. I know how quickly I lose interest in work that doesn’t keep me challenged. Fear, why must you plague my soul?

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Photo Credit: themuse.com

With all of that said,  I shall continue my quest for my ideal career. One that includes more of my likes than dislikes. One that will fulfill me. A career that allows me to be me, and I am greatly appreciated for being me.  A career that will pay well enough for me to survive without having financial problems. I am not seeking financial success. I am just seeking personal success! 

Now that’s not too much to ask for!

K. A. Smith

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