Deeply Into the Unknown 

The time is 5:31am and I am just laying here. I am  just laying here with thoughts racing through my head like Usain Bolt running the 100 meters. “What if…?” “But why not…?”  So many scenarios playing out in my mind. These thoughts and scenarios are about my life. A life I have grown to know little about, even though I am the only one who has lived it since birth. 

Photo Source: welleslleyfreelibrary.org

I find myself growing more and more confused every day. My ups are downs. My rights are now wrongs (and lefts). The people I thought I knew. I know longer know. Just when I get accustomed to one thing, it changes. It appears everything I thought I saw was just false images. Images distorted with the reality of a dream I once knew. 


Photo Source: pinterest.com

Now it is 5:48am and I am just laying here. I am just laying here with uncertainty in my mind and fear in my heart. I am scared to turn the page for fear of what it might reveal. I dread the dawn of a new day, as I am terrified to uncover yet another image distorted with the reality of a dream I once knew. Therefore I shall   dream. I shall dream during the day just as I do during the night. I shall remove myself from all that is known and delve deeply into the unknown. 

Emptying My Thoughts- Night 1

Going to sleep is never as easy as it sounds. I am always thinking and making mental notes. The thoughts in my mind race many miles per minute, and I somehow find it difficult to peacefully fall asleep.

That is why I am allowing my thoughts to be left here for everyone else to sift and sort through. If you find something interesting…great!  If not, maybe tomorrow night you will. Well,  here goes nothing!

So,  I just applied to go to school online. I am nervous about getting all of my transcripts (yes, I’ve made numerous attempts at getting my bachelor’s degree), applying for financial aid, and actually beginning this program.

I have a million things to do at work tomorrow. I need to wake up early so I can get a head start at knocking some of my work out. 

I really need to workout tomorrow. I am so tired of having extra weight on me.

I really want to move into a house. I need to become more disciplined with finances. 
PB&J for the next few weeks for lunch! Maybe I’ll lose some weight and get more work done with this tweak to my lunch break.

Does medicine for anxiety really work?  Maybe I should give this dose change more time. I don’t know.

Well, that is all I had to empty for the night. It is time for me to head over to Slumberland. Good night everyone!

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